IT STARTS IN THE BEGINNING

If you have never had to deal with the criminal justice system, how fortunate for you. Your first de-stabilizing and assaulting issue is the prosecuting attorney’s public assault on your character. The MO of these people is to throw so much at you, accusing you of things you are reading along with your family, friends, and everyone you can think of for the first time, maybe. The press and those releases are just one tool they have in their bag of tricks. When the media calls you, and you have found representation, you are required to refer them to your attorney, and all you can say is “no comment.” Most likely, they won’t provide much more. At this moment, you have already begun to lose in the court of public opinion.
As many as 10% to 15% of the US population is being put through this criminal process. A vast portion of the population continues to be clueless about this process. They choose to assume the government knows best and is not punitive. “You must have done something wrong.” Long ago, the phrase “you are innocent until proven guilty” began to ring empty and hallow. In white-collar crimes, it is especially harmful. It’s your professional reputation. You might be more publicly known, you might get your photo out there so that everyone who sees you - recognizes you, or that’s how you feel. The emotional paralysis is hard to explain. Every impulse is fight or flight, but you’ve just been told to “shut up”! In my initial press release, I was described as one of the biggest tax cheats in the midwest. But the IRS agent hadn’t even asked for permission to file tax evasion charges against me. They never did request any charge like this. The magistrate judge specifically asked the IRS agent who advised her he had not. So now this claim runs throughout the United States about being a tax cheat while I know they haven’t even requested approval for such s charge.

I sat before my youngest son and estate planner in his office as the news broke - yes, I was breaking news. I fought back the tears and fog that entered my head, trying to process the news. I couldn’t talk. I was not able to stand up, and I certainly was not able to drive. Thank goodness my son was with me. I tried to proceed and wrap up our meeting, but now my phone was ringing off the hook. The meeting was over.

I needed to go home and figure out who was going to represent me. I didn’t know criminal lawyers. My husband was afraid they were going to come to break down our doors and search the place! For what? I didn’t have any paperwork or files that would help them and tried to get him to realize he was over-reacting. In a short period, I would have to see if I could self-surrender and begin this unforgettable journey of humiliation, pain, and fear. I needed to get a grip, but all I could really do is lay in bed and cry. Of course, I was going to fight this. I hadn’t done anything wrong. It feels good to say that now because I haven’t been able to really speak or think it since my indictment with the full thrust of innocence that I have within me. These are the first hours, the early days of what would become a nearly 6-year entanglement, including the time I spent in a women’s prison camp and getting through supervised release.

But that’s what the government does, they throw everything against the wall and hope something sticks. Depending upon your financial condition, you may fight them, but they don’t play fair, they lie (my judge permanently sited the FBI agent as a liar in my case on the record). That day there were no reporters there taking notes as on the day of my indictment. And worse, the government has 100% of the taxpayer’s funds as a budgeted resource. I was selling off everything I could and borrowed against my home that had been free and clear. No more. At some point, I would run out of funds, and they would not. What can the average American citizen hope for against these insurmountable circumstances? At this point, I was broken down into a sad and lonely spirit, trying to understand how to proceed?